Howdy! For years, city dudes have been trying to move and fit in to the West, more often than not making fools of themselves in the process. Now there is hope for the unenlightened . . . hope that can be found in the pages of A Dude's Guide to the West. It includes everything that you might ever need to know about how to be a true Westerner.
Of course, to be a true Westerner you need to survive, and two essentials for survival are food and water. For the cowboy, beef is best. He knows that you should "never turn down a T-bone steak-unless it's still on the cow" and that "chicken is alright if there is no steak around." He is also aware that "the bit about barrel cactus containing water isn't true" and that you should "carry plenty with you." As the cowboy would be apt to tell you, "You'll be buzzard bait if you get careless in the desert."
But more than just surviving, the cowboy lives a philosophical life. He knows that "the ultimate artist created the Painted Desert." He will advise you to "tell the preacher he did a good job," because "he may be your ticket to heaven." "Don't," he will say, "tell a pretty lady you would climb the highest mountain for her until you check out the mountain." Finally, he may wax poetic: "With all the cowboy artists and cowboy poets there are today, one wonders who is watching the cows."
