Mental Closets | Sexual Tendency: I walked into the closet | S2 E01 | Love & Sex | Umy
Love. Self. Umy!Play Episode
Description
Humans’ love can go beyond genders. It is common sense. But when it comes to our own situations, it's really hard for us to adapt to this saying. As a result, we are always asking, why doesn’t he come out of the closet? Who forced she not to come out? We put ourselves into this dilemma: to mute or to lie.
So I want to talk about the cause:
Why do people hide in the closet?
"Because I'm afraid of being discovered by others"
"Because I'm more afraid of forgetting who I really am“
What does it really mean?
When I was exploring myself in the puberty age, I chose to walk into the closet and gave up the chance to understand myself. The first time I stepped in, I locked the door first, and I stayed there. I talked seriously to myself inside, I was snickering inside that no one knew what I was thinking. Then I heard the heavy door knocks outside the room, I was frightened! When the door was pried open, I felt like I was gone. I walked out of the closet as if nothing had happened.
Since then, every time when I hid in, I held back my choking and yelling without making a single sound, and used all my strength to push the feeling of crying from the trachea into the chest, and then into the abdomen. At last, I restrained myself back to calm.
I went out and I smiled.
I was always agreeable.
I was always fine.
I never cried!
I never looked mean.
I never showed sadness.
I wished I hadn’t been here.
Guys! The latest theory in the 21st century is the Gender-vid Theory: our “images of a particular gender” are contagious, especially the genders we encounter less often. How?
For example, please imagine: two women kissing passionately, two boys cuddling gently. Do you pop up with an idea of having sex, or even images of same-sex lovemaking? We tend to think in this way, I know why, we are just curious.
I also know that people with different sexual orientations choose special partners to love and sleep with. Then I just put their „sex life“ and "sexual orientations“ together, I thought they are sex animals. Later on, I conclude that because their sexuality is different from mine, their sex life must be ugly. But we all choose a unique partner to love and sleep with, don’t we? Yes. I should stop targeting sexual orientations deliberately.
So as soon as we start to understand ourselves at a younger age if we feel pressure to become a "pervert" from the very beginning, we hide. We are scared, and then we refuse to see ourselves. We aren’t able to express our own feelings. We are locked in our mental closets.
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