Sex Exploration | Sex Myths | Virginity Complex | Explore sex | Love & Sex | Umy
Love. Self. Umy!Play Episode
Description
Ever since I was 10, when I had sexual fantasies, I felt these thoughts were unhealthy. They were dirty and lewd ideas. As soon as these thoughts popped up, I felt super embarrassed, anxious, and uneasy. I became easily irritated, nervous and melancholy with myself.
In fact, at those fantasizing moments, I couldn’t tell that other people could not sense it, they didn’t know what I was thinking about. Thus I looked down at myself, excessively punishing and cursing my feelings. Those punishments accompanied my teenagehood and never left. At night when I was alone in my bedroom, I felt terrible.
Because when my sexual fantasies came, I violently slapped myself.
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